Everything seems to be up in the air at this point.

Normally I write my thoughts along the outline of my drawings but this one was a bit long... Before March of this year, I hadn’t drawn anything since I left high school in 2002 and fiercely believed that my creativity was in my thinking and not in any explicit manifestation. 6 months later I’m extremely fortunate to be working on amazing projects with the likes of The British Council  and Manchester International Festival and getting to explore my creativity in a new way.

Ulster Museum, Belfast.  September 2018

Ulster Museum, Belfast. September 2018

Ultimately these opportunities have forced me to reevaluate the path I was going down and what I actually want my impact to be, particularly in my working life. To that end, I’ve given my notice in at work with no concrete job to go to because ultimately, alongside a myriad of complicated factors, it’s not making me happy. As an aspiring Occupational Psychologist who wants to specialise in wellbeing and emotion at work, I can’t tell people they should feel things that I don’t feel myself and ultimately I know the problems are so much bigger than I have the expertise to even start to tackle.

Perhaps this is the cowardly way out where I should stay and fight to try and influence the changes in the NHS that I so fiercely believe need to take place to support it’s struggling workforce, but at this early stage in my career I’m not sure I can take on such a mammoth task with the tiny voice I’m afforded or without making huge personal sacrifices to my own wellbeing.

I’m not sure what’s next but I’m excited and terrified and curious about where I’ll be in 12 months time. Hopefully I’ll manage a trip to Belfast between now and then to see this gorgeous brutalist behemoth in person.